The Comparison Trap

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Comparison can cost you more than joy. In this post, Becca shares how it can be especially difficult when we're recovering from injury, along with three practical ways to get back to trusting your own body. -Dina

You’ve probably heard the popular quote, “comparison is the thief of joy.”

I was recently working at an ultra that happened to be my first 100-mile finish nine years ago. As I watched runners head out to the start line, I found myself doing something many of us do automatically: comparing.

Since I’ve been recovering from an injury that has kept me out of running for months, I had to be intentional about checking myself when my mind began comparing where I am now to where healthy runners were able to be that day.

Reflecting on this experience brought up two major observations:

1. Comparing myself to myself holds more potential to be useful than comparing myself to others. It is impossible to know the full story behind the brief interaction that we have with others. This makes comparing the entirety of my experience with the snapshot that I see of someone else nothing but a fool’s errand. On the other hand, comparing only to myself can offer insight and motivation if done in a calm and compassionate manner.

2. Comparing myself to others is part of what got me to this state of injury in the first place. One of the contributing factors for my bone stress injury was certainly a mismatch in my fueling needs. As athletes, our energy needs are often much higher than those around us. I accepted long ago that I commonly need to eat more than almost anyone I share meals with, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t affect me. It can be challenging to go back for a third helping or order a carb-heavy dish when everyone else has salads, and those micro decisions add up.

The real cost of comparison

Perhaps the greatest cost of comparison is that it erodes self-trust.

We stop listening to our own bodies, circumstances, and needs and start looking to others for cues on how much we should train, eat, recover, or achieve.

Over time, those small moments of ignoring our own signals can accumulate into missed opportunities, burnout, injury, or goals that drift farther away instead of closer. Whether you are wondering why your friend can absorb more training volume than you can, how you need more food than everyone around you, or any of the unhelpful ways we compare ourselves to others, please stop!

Instead, try this:

1. Measure against your own starting line. Ask, “Am I better than I was a month ago? A year ago?” “What one step can I take now that supports where I want to be?” If your priorities have shifted, then acknowledge that and allow a former version of yourself to be “better” at something than you are now, while welcoming a new version of yourself that is working toward new goals.

2. Focus on behaviors, not outcomes. You can’t control another person’s schedule, life circumstances, genetics, you name it. You can control whether you make choices that align with your goals day in and day out. Direct your energy toward actions within your control.

3. Identify what is already going well. Comparison trains us to focus on what we lack. Self-reflection and gratitude provide space to recognize what we are doing well.

Your challenge this week

This week, notice moments when comparison creeps in. Actively redirect your attention to one action you can take that supports your own goals. Instead of asking, “How do I measure up to them?”, start asking, “What do I need to move one step forward today?”

-Becca